You can’t have it all. OR CAN YOU?

I grew up surrounded by the “you can’t have it all” mentality, which, later, I learned not to judge or blame but to understand as a coping mechanism. It was, at that time, both resignation and a way of finding comfort in the face of unavoidable lack. But as I grew up, I played with this concept. I played with questions, nuances, and layers of perception in my efforts to draw the line, or decide what I was allowed to desire and question the limitations.

One question at a time, one failure at a time, one victory at a time, I discovered a beautiful nuance I almost missed in my quest for better and more: You can’t have it all – but be grateful and find joy in what you have.

It opened my eyes and my mind. It flooded my heart with gratitude. It erased the judgement. And gave me a new starting point for my explorations.

And revealed the trap. The guilt: Was I ungrateful if I desired more?

If I have a gift, it is that I don’t settle. I keep asking questions. And this one shifted my whole perception, it erased fear and conflicts and brought a whole new light: Can I be grateful for what is and desire more at the same time? It flipped the script: you can’t have abundance and scarcity at the same time, you can’t expect everything while denying that it could even be possible – you’ve got to pick one.

I marked the beginning of a journey to discover layers of understanding, define, heal, and rewrite old codes that were comfortably occupying space in my subconscious mind.

BUT

The more I wanted it all, the more I was pulled to challenge what ALL means. Without even fully realizing what I was doing, I took layer by layer, desire by desire, in each area of my life, and asked a million questions. Less of “what?” and more of “why?”.

I found out that I had unconsciously stored models of what I thought having it all looked like. And I explored why I picked those models. I looked for common denominators. I looked for the main differentiators. I explored and challenged the underlying presuppositions that drew me to certain models. I uncovered wounds and fears I didn’t even know I hosted.

I observed myself in my desires, in the day-dreaming, in the planning.

I observed myself in my challenging times and trapped in the tug-of-war between what I wanted and what I feared. I mapped out my internal codes, how I represented them, and I explored their root, their perceived benefits, and their unwanted effects.

Tedious? Maybe.

Well worth it? Definitely.

It’s how I refined what ” having it all” means for me. And it turned the ” glorious image of” I thought I needed to reach, into a humbling journey of discovery. The “there” into “here”, “future” into “present”, a fixed definition into an ever-evolving story. And most importantly, it changed my trajectory from going “higher” to going “deeper.”

I discovered that while “having it all” might be about money, titles, jaw-dropping achievements, amazing homes and luxury cars, a dream-like marriage, children that impress the world, vacations that surprise even the most traveled luxury- vacation blogger, vitality and vibrant health, a body worth showing on a magazine cover – it’s only one way of looking at things. And definitely not the whole story. You could have it all, check all these external boxes, and still find yourself searching, waking up in the middle of the night feeling like a stranger in your own life, and starting the chase all over again in the morning.

The missing ingredient is not “more”, not “better”.
It’s peace. Internal, deep, unshakable.
This undeniable peace turns anything into “all.”
It brings dimension and meaning.
It brings strengths and purpose.
Sound sleep at night.
Direction at dawn.
One word, not an endless list to check off.

When you discover internal peace, it’s truly when you have it all. It makes everything possible. It brings substance, direction, and clarity. It fills the heart with gratitude, with joy, with overflowing, never-ending love. It opens all doors. It’s the strong foundation that holds everything you build.

Shared with Love,
Gabriela

I don’t pretend I KNOW. I write from my experience and from my heart, hoping that what I share is the support someone needs on their journey. I reserve the right to be wrong and change my mind as I grow in my own understanding.

Have questions, comments, or suggestions? Please never hesitate to reach out. I always reply to messages gabriela@experiencetruewealth.com

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