The mighty algorithm showed me a post that challenged the well-known saying “money doesn’t buy happiness.” They said, yes, it actually kind of does: because it buys you freedom. And choices.

Before I hit send on my answer, it magically disappeared.

Dark forces at play? Only if you’re watching Stranger Things. Fat fingers on the screen? Most likely.

Anyway.

I think it’s a conversation we should all have. A very nuanced conversation. And avoiding the nuances is what gets us in trouble.

The Confusion: Tool vs. Purpose

The problem is that along the way, we forget to make the distinction between money-as-tool and money-as-purpose.

Yes, it’s true money buys capacity: the ability to say no, to rest, to choose. Money buys you freedom from scarcity.

But it doesn’t automatically buy you freedom toward something meaningful. Plenty of people achieve financial freedom and then realize they have no idea what they actually want to do with it.

Here’s how I see it: Take money seriously as a tool for freedom. But be equally serious about what you’re freeing yourself for. Otherwise, you risk replacing the treadmill of survival with the treadmill of accumulation – different cage, same hamster wheel.

What “Money Is a Tool” Actually Means

It’s fascinating how often people say “money is just a tool” without examining what that tool is actually being used for.

• A tool for power
• A tool for self-affirmation
• A tool to justify one’s existence
• A pill – a quick swallow to get the illusion that you are good enough

Unfortunately, when money becomes the thing that validates your worth, it’s not very effective. And the effect doesn’t last. And you keep chasing the next milestone.The next zero in your bank account. Each one promising to finally quiet that feeling of not being enough. But the silence never comes, does it?

The Two Freedoms

Yes, money is a ticket to freedom.

But only financial freedom. It erases the worry of bills coming in. It gives you the freedom of choice when those choices are directly impacted by money: where you live, what you eat, whether you can leave a soul-crushing job, whether you can afford to rest.

Anyone who’s lived paycheck to paycheck knows the weight of that kind of stress.

But all the other problems? They stay. Ironically, they can even get worse with money.

The relationship struggles. The existential questions. The gnawing sense that something is missing. The fear that you’re wasting your one precious life. Money doesn’t touch those.

The real freedom? Is the freedom of mind. When your thoughts are peaceful and they are not waking you up at 3 am. When there is no internal conflict between what you want the most and what you believe is possible for you. No painful longing. When you’re not constantly measuring yourself against others, against your past self, against some imagined future version of who you should be.

That’s the freedom most people are actually chasing when they chase money. But they don’t realize it until they have money and the pain is still there or worse.

The Angles We Don’t Talk About

The money conversation seems to stop at two extremes

Some tell you that money is evil.
Others tell you that money is THE ticket to freedom.

Both are trying to solve a complex equation with a simple answer. But I wonder – is this all there is? What about the nuances and the questions that deepen the conversation?

When Is Enough, Enough?

Is “enough” even a number? Or is it tied to other conversations we avoid?

• What you’re comparing yourself to
• What you watched your parents struggle with or obsess over
• What you’re trying to prove and to whom

I’ve worked with people who grew up poor who never feel safe, even with millions in the bank. I’ve worked with people who grew up wealthy yet still chase more money they don’t need because they hope to find themselves somewhere, down the line of zeros in the bank account.

The goalpost keeps moving because it was never really about the money.

Charity: Performance or Purpose?

Money as a tool for charitable purposes. Yes, the more you have, the bigger the contribution. But then I ask: when is it just a show and when is it coming from the depths of one’s heart? Does the difference matter? Why? And to whom?

These are the questions nobody wants to examine too closely. Because sometimes generosity is just another form of self-affirmation. Another way to prove you’re good, you’re worthy, you’ve made it.

Real generosity doesn’t need an audience. It doesn’t need a tax write-off or a plaque on a wall. Genuine generosity just acts.

We’re incredibly good at twisting perceptions to validate our choices. At making the pursuit of more sound like wisdom, growth, expansion, service rather than what it often is: avoidance of the real hunger we hide in our souls. We dress up greed , insecurities, fears, past, unhealed wounds with noble-sounding theories. I’ve always wondered –  in what way is this choice easier than facing and solving the internal conflict?

Money Reveals Internal Patterns

Money is a great highlighter. When we avert our sight.

I’ve studied this a lot, including on myself, and I’ve learned that every nuance in how we relate to money is a story of the internal patterns, internal beliefs, and especially fears we carry.

The person who hoards every dollar? Look closer and you’ll find that they perceive the world as fundamentally unsafe, that they fear scarcity even when they own millions, or they carry a story of not being taken care of or protected.

The person who spends recklessly? It’s not just bad habits. Don’t write them off with the label “impulsive.” They’re trying to feel something, to fill a void, and somehow they’ve associated money, the spending, the short dopamine hit of owning something new or expensive with the feeling they are trying to feel. Could be safety, love and so many other.

The person who won’t let themselves enjoy their money or share with anyone? Call them stuck and stingy. But there is more to the story: guilt, unworthiness, the belief that suffering equals virtue, mixed with fear of losing, scarcity, fear for the future, fear of betrayal.

The person who flaunts their wealth? Yes, you can easily dismiss them as greedy. But if you lift the veil, you’ll find the neglected soul desperate for external validation they can’t give themselves, you’ll find the ones who knew hunger and associated it with “being less than” and now they’ve finally part of the “right world”.

Money doesn’t create these patterns. It just reveals them. And many times amplifies them.

What Money Actually Solves

There is one thing I know for sure: Money is NOT the answer to ALL problems and ALL questions or ALL struggles. Money just solves financial issues. ( I am not yelling, but I believe that this is such an important distinction that it needs the bold and the caps.)

That’s it. That’s the truth we keep trying to escape, to cover, to dress.

It won’t make you feel worthy.
It won’t heal your relationships.
It won’t give your life meaning.
It won’t quiet the voice that tells you you’re not enough.
It won’t resolve your internal conflicts.
It won’t make you feel like yourself.

Money will pay your bills. It will give you options.

And that’s a very important aspect. Financial stress is real and corrosive and limiting.

But if you’re chasing money thinking it will solve the deeper problems, I’m afraid you’ll find just deep disappointment.

The Conversation We Need

Isn’t it fascinating? One word, multiple conversations?

Money.

It opens up questions about:

• What we value and why
• What we’re afraid of
• What we’re trying to prove
• How we define success
• What we think we deserve
• How we measure our worth
• What we think will finally make us okay

These are the conversations worth having. Not “how do I make more money” but “what am I actually trying to solve by making more money?”

I am highly aware that even with this exploration, I just brushed the surface of this conversation. My advice? Have this conversation. Explore angles and nuances. Money is a great tool to reveal internal patterns and internal conflicts, if you’re willing to look.

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Shared with Love,
Gabriela

I don’t pretend I KNOW. I write from my experience and from my heart, hoping that what I share is the support someone needs on their journey. I reserve the right to be wrong and change my mind as I grow in my own understanding.

Have questions, comments, or suggestions? Please never hesitate to reach out. I always reply to messages gabriela@experiencetruewealth.com

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